The Hardest Part...

    
    
     Today is our 6th anniversary!!! I've been legally and biblically bound to my Prince for 6 wonderful years!!! It's hard to believe these years have flown by so fast! So much has changed. We have grown so much, individually and as a couple. I always wondered how it was possible for things to "get better" after your wedding; now I can see it. Each year has been better than the last with Kevin...and that is the honest truth. 
    
     As I sit here today and reflect on the 6 years of wedded bliss we've experienced so far, I can't help but be reminded of so many things: the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the wonderful, the peaceful moments we've shared thus far in our journey together. I wouldn't trade a single one. I would rather spend all my bad days with John Kevin Boatwright than all my good days without him. He is my reason for being, my sanity, my comfort, my protector. 

     You see, I've had a slightly tainted sense of love for the majority of my life. The men in my family are very "old school", as in Pioneer-Days-Old-School. They believe a woman's place is in the home, submissive to her man in EVERY way...which I agree with to a certain degree. But because of this, that is how I understood God's love to be: firm, domineering, demanding, harsh, forceful, retributive, and God forbid you give an opinion or feeling that goes against their opinions or beliefs. (Now, I will say the men in my family have definitely evolved from their cave-man states of mind...but it has taken time. And while they were evolving, so was my opinion of love.) I didn't understand why anyone would want to be "loved" in this way by man or God. I went through the motions, like the good-girl I was, not ever fully desiring or wanting to be involved with this "god" who would treat women with such a lack of appreciation.
     
     Enter Kevin. His love was obvious, relentless, and unconditional right from the start. I was so shocked by this new brand of love that I didn't know what to do with it. So, what do we humans usually do with unfamiliar emotions we're afraid of? We fight it. That's exactly what I did. I fought Kevin's love. I pushed back with all I had trying to get him to "go away" with his unfathomable love. He finally looked at me and said, "Halley, I love you and I'll wait for you. It doesn't matter how long it takes. I'll wait for you." 
     
     That did it. It broke down my huge-fortress-of-an-emotional-wall. It came crashing down around me and in it's place was this beautiful understanding of what the Love of Christ REALLY is. The Love of Christ is beautiful, obvious, relentless, and unconditional. I can see that now, and I have spent the last decade of my life getting used to being loved that way by Jesus through my perfect husband.
   
     I have cherished every second. It's still so new to me...I mean, when you think about it who can honestly get used to that type of love? Especially one so undeserving as me? But that's it. That's the point. Grace in a nutshell. Love in a nutshell. My husband in a nutshell. My God and Savior in a nutshell.
  
     I have been blessed the past 25 weeks of my pregnancy. There have been no crazy adjustments. No aches, pains, or sicknesses. Just a gradual swelling of my belly. The hardest part for me will be adjusting to life where I have to share Kevin's love. I think about it every day...especially considering this is a little GIRL we're bringing into the world together. How will I share him with her? 
  
     I think I'm about to learn a very great lesson...again. I think God is going to show me how He loves us all completely without sparing an ounce of love for anyone. I'm nervous, but I'm excited about it. God has taught me so many things through this man He has allowed to be my husband. I am so grateful to Him in His infinite wisdom for that. I am also incredibly grateful to my husband, the-willing-vessel, who has allowed himself to be used by God to love silly little me.
     

     May this next part of our journey be just as filled with love as the past six years! I love you John Kevin Boatwright! 

                           Happy 6th Anniversary!!!