July 8, 2013 @ 11:01 a.m.

     

     On this day, ONE WHOLE YEAR ago, our family was blessed with a precious, precious, PRECIOUS gift: Addison Virginia O'Neal. This little girl has a very special place in my heart, and has had a hold on that spot since the day I found out my sister was expecting her.
   
     I would be lying if I told you that when I heard the news I was happy. In fact, it was one of the most devastating announcements I have ever had to experience in my lifetime. Immediately, upon hearing it my heart exploded into a thousand pieces and the floodgates of tears were unleashed.

    Up to that point in my journey I had fought that devastating feeling with success. Up to that point, no one in my family had gotten pregnant. Yes, it was hard to see the friends around me growing swollen with expectant babies. Yes, those days induced some tears, frustration, anger, but none of them compared to finding out that my own sister would be experiencing motherhood before me.

    I knew in my gut that she was going to tell us she was expecting. I just knew it. I'm a nosy person. I asked. I ruined the surprise for Cierra. I'll never forgive myself for that...but at the time, that was the last thing on my mind. I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. Cierra was obviously upset because:
1. I had ruined her surprise
2. It was just as hard for her to reveal it as it was for me to find out (She knew about my struggle and my pain, and Cierra is a very tender-hearted, sensitive creature; always has been.

     So, when I answered the phone it was to the voice of her oh-so-perturbed-with-every-right-to-be over-protective-husband, Sean. He said, "Well, you ruined it. You were right. She's pregnant." Immediately, I felt guilt, shame, embarassement. But mostly, I was sad. So unbelievably sad for myself. I wanted to be the one to make that announcement. I wanted to be the one to surprise my family with a new addition.

    I immediately called Kevin, my wonderful supporter, who has never allowed me to wallow in self-pity, because I knew I needed a pep-talk. He comforted me as best he could, told me he loved me, and then hung up. Then I was alone. Just me myself, and I to deal with the tornado of emotions inside of me.

    I got to thinking, and praying, and I realized (very quickly) how silly I was being. I mean, this was CIERRA we're talking about. Sweet, innocent, docile, precious little Cierra. The one who God first allowed me to be a big sister to. I loved her so completely, there was no way I was going to let this get in the way.

    Cierra was always such a sensitive little fragile thing, even from birth. From the first moment I met her, I knew she would need protecting. So, that's what I became for her. That big, mean, over-bearing, older sister who was always there to fight her battles for her (just ask Sean). Mom always called her a porcelain doll. It was such a beautiful description of her. So, beautiful and fragile, you want to stick her up on a high shelf so no one could ever harm her.

    THIS was the Cierra who was telling us she was going to have a baby! THIS was the fragile creature who God saw enough strengh and faith in to bless her with a beautiful little miracle! How could I be so selfish as to taint this exciting time for her? With that little reminder, I was off to see my first little sister, to comfort her and let her know that I was okay. That I was happy for her. That I loved her...though it pained me greatly to do so.

    When we arrived at Cierra and Sean's house, they were expecting us, and had laid out the ultrasound pictures. Those pictures took my breath away. I fell in love with my niece. Never had I seen anything more precious, and I realized this was a God-sent gift to Cierra and Sean, but it was a gift to me too. I knew that this little baby might be the closest thing to a child I would have, so I made up my mind to pour all of my love into it that I possibly could.

     The day she was born was a day I will never forget. I saw her sweet face and immediately every single emotion I had ever experienced in my journey came bubbling up to the surface again. I held her and cried for what seemed like forever. For my pain. For my happiness. For my very brave little sister. Because that baby was so beautiful and precious. Because I thought I was as close as I was going to get to that experience. But all that pain was worth it to hold that little miracle-girl. She was so beautiful, and fragile, and precious...just like her momma. And just as I did on the day I met Cierra, I knew that this was a little girl that I would go to battle for.

     She has grown so much in just a short year! She has brought so much joy to our lives!!! Her little personality is really starting to shine and I can see her momma's strength in her. But I can also see her momma's beautiful sensitive spirit. That spirit that captures everyone around her. I'm so proud to be her Aunt Hay (if you can't already tell from my newsfeed)!

      I know as my little Addi V is introduced to her equally precious cousin Elsirae, there will be a major adjustment period, for ALL parties involved. But I also know that they're going to be two peas in a pod before long...just like Cierra and I. I'm sure very shortly the gang will be growing my leaps and bounds, and I'm so excited that I get to participate in that! God is SO good! He is SO faithful!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS ADDISON VIRGINIA!!! 

I love you more than words can say!

<3 Aunt Hay

It's CRUNCH Time!

     Yea, Yea...technically I still have 3 months to go, BUT I'm a planner. I like to plan. I like to be prepared. This part of my personality drives my husband CRAZY...probably because all my "plans" are for him to do various chores for me. What can I say...I have the vision, and no skill. Lucky for me my talented hubby has a knack for interpreting my vision and making them a reality. For this (and many other things) I am thankful...he not so much.

     Anyway, it's July and TODAY is the day that I begin the LAST trimester of this pregnancy!!! I can't believe it! The first trimester went by so fast! The second one slowed down a great deal. I imagine this last trimester will d-r-a-g...kind of like my body these days. Kevin has always told me how slow I am about doing anything. Well, he now jokes that this pregnancy has made me EVEN slower...poor guy. It's no joke though. Everything takes more time and effort these days.

    Our little lady has been quite a bit more active lately. It feels so weird when she starts going crazy in the-balloon-that-is-my-belly; especially when she decides to drag a fist or foot across my swollen mid-section! It feels like there's an alien in there about to bust out. I made Kev feel it one night...it freaked him out. Poor guy, he's not into this pregnancy stuff any more than I am.

     I always thought I would be one of those women who thinks pregnancy is a "magical" and "euphoric" time; especially considering all I went through to experience it. Well, I mis-judged myself. I'm not a fan. Not that I haven't enjoyed nurturing my sweet girl for the past 7 months. I really enjoy feeling her move, just because it's SUCH a reality check. But I am NOT enjoying the fat-feeling I get every time I look in the mirror. True, most of the weight I've gained has been pure baby, but I just am not one of those girls who looks at my belly and thinks "oh, how sweet/cute/precious". I'm one of those who is just ready to hold my sweet baby in my arms rather than my belly. Oh well...we've got a waaaays to go!

     But, I digress. Back to the planner in me...it's JULY and I've vowed to myself to finally work on my baby girl's room. (Up to this point...not a thought. Granted I have been SWAMPED with wedding festivities and summer vacations). So, when Kev and I returned from our anniversary trip, we got started.

     We decided to leave the room the original color (since we just moved in and it was JUST painted) and instead paint only an accent wall. Where does the modern-girl turn for inspiration? Pinterest, of course! I started digging for inspiration and found this:

      When I finally convinced Kev to go paint it for me, I was so very pleased with how it turned out! Here are some photos of Daddy working on Elsirae's accent wall:

      On top of being a planner, I am also a shopper...a thrifty shopper. I like to find good deals. Truthfully, I like to find GREAT deals. I was bound and determined NOT to pay an outrageous amount for furniture that my child will only use for a few years. So, I called up my mom and my sister Leah and we went thrift store shopping. Yes, you read correctly. Thrift. Stores. We found some really great treasures, including this beautiful little blue chest:

      I also snagged this adorable vanity, and wardrobe. Kevin and Uncle Griff gave both pieces a fresh coat of paint and they look like new!

      Gigi and Boots wanted to contribute to the madness so they bought our princess her crib, and Aunt Leah helped me put it together (while Daddy was out playing with dirt bikes)! It turned out beautifully!

     I found the glider at Babies-R-Us on SALE! I had to get it, because I was really determined to get a glider that looked like a normal chair so that it could be moved around the house as needed when I no longer have a nursery. This particular glider was way cheaper than the ones I was planning to splurge on.

    All-in-all I think it's coming together nicely! Now, we're just waiting on the bedding (which should be delivered any day now), and Aunt Lauran to sew us some curtains to match! I'll be so relieved when it's done because, I want to be prepared just in case the princess decides to grace us with her presence earlier than expected. We shall see!!!